Category: Parent Talk
I'm just curious as to who on this site are already parents and how many expectant parents there are.
I, along with my husband James Grunshaw am an expectant parent. Our baby girl, Hannah is due sometime in the middle of December. We're excited and nervous at the same time. Maybe we can share funny, hard, and helpful stories about our experiences. I can use all the help I can get. lol. I do have several years experience of raising my nieces and nephews but not my own kid.
Thanks
Lizzy
I have a 21 month old currently and we're hoping to have another relatively soon. I am always willing to help in any way I can. My son was born 6 weeks premature and stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks before comming home. Feel free to read my profile and check out my family website. We have a small journal of the hospital stay and lots of photos for those who have some site.
I've a 2yr old called Alasdair and a 3yr old nephew Louis.
I have two sons...
Both are employed.
One attends the university.
One is deeply into video games.
Wildebrew and I are expecting our first, a little boy, in February.
Hmmm. More parents than I thought were on here. lol. I know a few more that haven't posted on here yet like Lindsey.
I just had a doctors appointment yesterday and they have moved my due date up from the 18th to the 10th. Cool! I wish she was here now. This might be too personal but, ladies, how were or how have your pregnancies been. Were you sick a lot, get aches and pains? I've been sick throughout the entire pregnancy, yuck! Also, sleeping is impossible! I'm sure I drive James crazy tossing and turning all night, and then napping during the day.
Feel free to share stories. hehehehe.
Lizzy
...with my second son I was the picture of health...no tummy aches, energetic and so forth.. my menstrual cycle had not re-adjusted from the birth of my first son and I didn't particularity give it any thot as for awhile I had breast fed my first and thusly menstrual cycles do go say, off balance, or rather not necessarily re-start for a period of time... THEN I felt "movement," made a Doctor's appointment with my Obstetricians/Gynecologist(Ob/Gyn),and sure enough I was almost 7 months along... *Wow did those next two months move along so quickly...might have liked a few more months to prepare... smile
If this counts for anything. I very very deeply want to have children in the future. I love kids, infants who spit up all over you then smile up at you, toddlers who's favorite word is no, three-year olds who respond to any declarative statement with "Why?" and so on and so forth up through vidio game obsessed emo teens.
i have three kids and i love them very much and i stay at home with them why my wife works it's not esey being a stay at home dad but i love to do it. i can help just ask jamie
Well, I don't know how far along I am yet, but i'm guessing about two months. I've been nauseous pretty much since the beginning of October and off and on all day long. Yuck. I heard that this "morning sickness" (what a name for it) stuff can last throughout the whole pregnancy, or last 'til the third or fourth month. I hope I'm lucky and it goes away by the third or fourth month. LOL. And Lizzie, you said you take naps throughout the day. I do that, too. I find myself on the computer doing something, and then suddenly feeling tired so I have to go and lie down. I toss and turn a lot at night because I can't seem to get comfortable, and dude, I thought that would come later. Increase in hormones and sore breasts can do that to you, I guess. I just can't imagine feeling even more uncomfortable as the pregnancy progresses because I just know I'm going to turn into a blimp. I mean, I noticed all the women in my family got pretty big, so ... yipes.
I told my family about expecting yesterday, and most of them were OK with it. My mom's scared because she doesn't know how Mark and I are going to do it, both being blind and all. My sister seemed to be implying that I should move closer to home because "having a baby is hard enough being sighted, and you're blind ..." Ugh. I know it's not going to be a walk in the park, OK. We've decided to keep the baby and we're going to learn as we go just like all first-time parents had to do it. We're both blind, yes, so ... that just means we'll have to do things differently.
Anyway, I'm done with that. LOL. My family's concern hasn't really taken away from the joy and excitement I'm feeling now. I get to see them all when I go down to California next week, so ... hopefully, they'll have digested this news a little by the time I get there.
Here's a question for those of you who have already had a baby/babies. Did you give birth naturally, or did you request to be drugged up? Did you get to experience both ways? If so, how much of a difference is there?
Thanks,
-- Allie
I have 3 kids believe it or not.. 2 girls and a boy.. ages are 7, 6, and 3. My girls were really easy.. my son is a bit of a handful though.. but the cutest by far. If you need any advice don't hesitate to ask..
hey all,
Not sure what to do, or how to do it,
I am so happy about the thought of having a little mark and allie. Shit if you know us, you know how full of them self this kid will be.
Kids are cool! I have never done this before, but I know that allie and I will figuere it out.
Oh and man will this child be beautiful. I mean look at allie and I ahahahah
Off to read about razeing kids now.
Hi all. I will answer some of the questions posted here in this note. I had an easy pregnancy as far as morning sickness goes. I just had the short waves of nausia and I maybe hurled 3 times during the whole thing. I from the start wanted a natural birth and did have one with no pain meds. Alli I cannot tell how different it is with and without. I had to be induced though and delivered naturally with Petoesin I an not gonna say natural isn't hard because it is, but the bennifits of doing it that way are so much better then being drugged up as far as being mobile afterwords. I mean I was up within a few minutes of being stitched up because I tore a little to use bathroom and shower and all that. Jared was born 6 weeks early so I had to be induced because my water sprung a slow leak at 32 weeks along. I was hospitalized on complete bedrest til the induction. Also if you can breast feed and aren't squeamish about doing so you will save a ton of money. Formula is quite expensive. If you have a good milk production you can feed baby usually up til 6 months on breast milk alone. Jared weened around 15 months. I am always willing to talk so msn me and I'll help where I can or point you somewhere to someone or a website that can. I read tons while trying and after we conceived on various subjects.
Well, I have about 4 more weeks to go before Hannah is here! Yaaaaay! I can't wait for her to come so I can feel comfortable again. lol. I'm so tired all the time because I can't sleep and still get sick occasionally. It's mostly when I don't eat enough though. I had it really bad early on though. Sometimes I would get sick 4 times a day. I plan to go all natural with the birth, no drugs. I have a high tallerance for pain but who knows what will happen when the time acdtually comes. lol. I need to start packing my bags and stuff. Not sure as to what all I should put in it. I really can't wait to see her and hold her.
My parents are coming over to visit from the states on December 13 so that should be interesting. I hope she's here before they are hehehehe. I'd love to hear more stories and advice. I'll keep you updated on how things are going.
Lizzy
I want a baby badly, but my bf wants to wait. I know that is wise though
well I have a son called Nathan who will be 4 next week. Every pregnancy is different and so is every birth. With regards to how you want to give birth I would say keep an open mind, you don't know how it will feel until you're actually there, and labour pain is like something you have never experienced. I had pethadin, gas and air and an epidural, (epidural at the last minute due to complications), and I personally would never have pethadin again because it makes you drowsy and I felt I wasn't in control, but you have to do what is best for you.
lizzy re labour bag if you want to pm me on here I'll give you some pointers as to what brands are best etc of certain products and what things are good to pack.
Did you mean Petosin? the labor inducing drug? If so that affects everyone differently of course. If you meant something else Sugar I don't know what drug you mean. If that was in fact the drug you meant I wasn't drousey at all by any stretch heh.
pethodene or hwo ever you spell it, is like morpheen or codeen in how it effects you, it's horrible. i don't have kids yet, but plan on it as soonas it's appropriate, but I did become a first time aunty on Thursday, and loads of my friends are having babies now.
Babies babies babies I can't wait. I have a question. People say that the bonding process starts for the mom while the baby is in the womb. Do you think that the bonding process starts at the same time for dad and baby?
Hm... interesting thread! I'm starting to think about the whole process of labor and delivery (I'm 26 weeks along now, so I have roughly three months to go, assuming the baby makes his entrance at term), and I'm definitely not planning on being heroic or courageous in any way :-). I think that if I'm offered an epidural or some other pain medication, it's most likely because I'm in excruciating pain, and need it--I simply don't believe that medication is any worse for your body than being in extreme traumatic pain. That being said, I imagine a lot of things will seem different once I'm actually there, so we'll just have to see how everything progresses. Dragonfire, as for bonding between dad and baby, I do think it starts at roughly the same time as mom-baby bonding starts. Obviously, dad doesn't have quite the intimate access to the baby that mom has. I mean, I feel the baby kick and squirm all day long, so it's really easy to bond with him without even trying. B, of course, has to make a bit more of an effort, but he's been feeling the baby from the outside of my tummy almost since the day I felt the baby. Very often we'll just lie there and he'll have his hand on me and feel the baby's movements, and sometimes he'll talk or sing to the baby through my tummy--and just recently the baby has actually started to respond! So I guess what I'm saying is that dad has to make a bit more of an effort to bond with the unborn child than mom does, but if he's actuively doing that, his bonding with the baby starts at pretty much the same time as mom's, and doesn't seem any weaker!
Oh, by the way, congratulations on becoming an aunty, Krystel!
In answer to whether a man bonds with the baby at the same time/in the same way as the woman, I would say almost certainly not. While the father can feel the baby moving and can talk to the baby before he/she is born, and feels love for the baby, that bond is not on the same level as the mother’s by any means. If a woman was in labour and was having complications and it came down to a choice between saving her or the baby, most women would opt to save the baby over themselves (most women would die for their child), but most men would want the woman to be saved over the baby – it takes longer for that bond to form.
Hey folks (first post in a while).
SB, I'd have to disagree with the way you made your point. You may be right (in fact you are right) that men bond differently with their unborn babies than women. Fortunately or unfortunately as it may be they don't have to go through the pain and nautia and the sensations of the baby moving inside them even if I still claim we're allowed to get some of the cravings, especially for good chocolate and such. Speaking for myself I definitely think men would like to be move involved with the pregnancies if they could but our job is to take care of the mother and make her as comfortable as we can, if the baby is her priority she is and should be ours.
And it's misleading to say the least to claim a woman loves her baby more than the man simply because she'd prefer to save the baby rather than herself at birth. For one thing I think most human beings realize they have a choice and control over their own lives and when faced with a choice of sacrificing that and someone else's it is simply the right thing to do to sacrifice your own (or at least there is a strong biast towards that, seeing as you can't sacrifice the life of someone else to save yours). Your exampleis like saying men love their country more than women because they join the army and die for it (or more of them do). Secondly, however much I love my baby if I have the choice of sacrificing that or my wife's life the choice seems clear to me, it should seem clear to her as well. If there were such a choice, for one thing, chances are there's something seriously wrong with the baby to begin with if it came so such a choice and after all, cruel as it sounds, one would rather try again with the woman one loves rather than throwing her life away. I hope I'm not offending anyone and point out this is strictly in a theoretical universe where one would have to save one or the other. I would do anything in the world to save my baby at this point even if he's just an ever growing furiously kicking 2 pounder who may be ofrunate enough not to look like me when he's born in 2 months. ;)
That being said, the real bonding, of course, starts after the baby is born and really after the first 3 months (or the forth trimester) when the baby starts being more interactive, to recognize faces and voices and to interact. In the first three months they do not do much of that as a rule.
I'm very excited and nervous and I feel I've bonded a great deal with the little guy already and I know this will be an extremely happy time in my life even if I'm under no illution that it will be easy.
I may, indeed, pop in to these boards and ask experienced blind parents for all sorts of advice on all sorts of issues, mostly related to the inatek or disposal of baby food I am sure.
Cheers
-B
Awww... aren't I lucky? :-) Even though I have an "ever growing furiously kicking 2 pounder" in my tummy, hehe.
Hey, I got to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time last week. It was awesome! I found out from the doctor that I'm fifteen weeks along. The sonographer gave me some pictures from the ultrasound, and the one with the baby's hand, fingers spread out and all, seems to be everyone's favorite. *GRIN*
Aw'w'w'w! I so can't wait to be a mum. That's why I've wanted a guide dog from when I went to Loughborough and spoke to three or four people who worked for the GDBA. It would give me responsibilities, a purpose in life and everything, but so would a BF, partner or better still, husband and three or four children. But, sadly, it isn't my turn yet. We all thought I was going to be the next new mum in our family, but my aunt's expecting a fourth child late March, early April 2007. He/she has six much older sibblings and step-sibblings Olivia, nearly 17, Grace 14, Joe 14, Kezia 12, Tegen 9 and Henry 9, so we naturally assumed that was it, until my Aunt phoned my Grandparents around six weeks ago. Aw'w'w god! I've just got to be happy for them, even though this is just so unfair, seeing as I'm now 23 and haven't even had my first BF or partner yet, and just play the waiting game. I'm worried that I won't have any children at this rate, before I'm 35 as you're normally a lot less fertile than you were, after that time, and there're also things that can go spectacularly badly wrong during the pregnancy or the birth of the baby, so I worry about the safety of my children if I leave it or have to wait too long to have them. My plan was to have children and get it all over with before I turn 35, but I know that's all out of the window now. I've only got 12 years now to achieve this.years now to achieve that.
“I so can’t wait to be a mum, that’s why I wanted a guide dog”. Wow, if you think that having the responsibility of having a guide dog will prepare you for the responsibilities of being a parent then you have a lot to learn. And at 23 you’re not exactly past it now are you. Yes it’s true that at 35 your fertility does decrease, and that you run a higher risk of birth defects. But 35 isn’t this magical cut off point. You don’t go to bed on the eve of your 35th birthday and wake up the next morning with decreased fertility and increased chance of a baby with downs syndrome/spina bifida. Lots of women get pregnant over the age of 35, they have normal, healthy pregnancies, and give birth to normal, healthy babies. Yes of course it’s preferable to have children when you’re younger, but life doesn’t always make that possible, and, for some people, having babies later in life is preferable, because they either don’t meet a partner when they’re younger, or they want more children when they’re older. But in reality this discussion is academic because you’re only 23 and 12 years is a long time.
It'll go quicker than you think though. I have a 12-year-old cousin now, and I can remember actually visiting my Aunt and the baby in hospital when she was just six hours oold. There! That's living proof that 12 years is really just five minutes.
Awww, yay Allie! That is real neat to hear the heart beat for the first time. Are you going to find out what sex it is? Susan, just wait till you have a 6 or 7 pounder squirming in there! lol, hurts a lot sometimes but it's ok. Just about 3 more weeks until baby Hannah is here. I hope it's sooner than later! She's measuring right at 37 weeks and is already starting to drop. No real contractions yet, just a little discomfort. I'm actually wanting some pain. lol. That would mean she's on her way. I just have to say that James is the perfect husband and has been wonderful through the whole pregnancy! I love my Jamesy! A lot of guys just do their part, hehehehe, and then leave everything and all the changes up to the woman. He's been so great with everything! I'm lucky! All for now. Going to try to get some sleep and try not to go to the bathroom every hour. lol. Oh well, that's what happens.
Laters,
Lizzy
Hi Lizzy,
Yes, we definitely want to know what the sex of the baby is. I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so excited to find out. LOL.
hey all. I know i know i'm not a Mommy. I really do want to be one one day, but only if my partner wants one too. I will not bring a child in to the world that won't have both parrents who want it, but there is time to tell for that yet. I am on here because my mother has a three and four year old and my sister has three children. Yes we were all born from the same mother. I do remember my mother had allot more sickness with my sister and myself than she had with the boys. I was wondering though. Do any of you agree with me that it is more dangerous to choose the root of CC sections? I know sometimes they are needed like with my little brother Matthew who wanted to be born feet first, but by the time they had my mother cut open he had flipped himself around. I just don't understand the women who do it by choice it takes so much longer to heal.
Also I remember being in the room when my first nephew was born. I know it wasn't my bbaby, but our family was there because the baby's father was not. Once that labor stops i don't even think my sister even noticed the pain. She went all natural. All of us were crying when he was born and just the atmosphere was just so happy like you could feel the new life. At least until my sister started playing with her tummy and kept commenting on how she had jellow in her uteris which we just all laughed at, but I guess the point was that once the baby is born I would most deffinatly not want to have taken a drug to make me drowsey I want to remember the first moments of my child's life, if i have one. smiles
I'm only seventeen weeks into my pregnancy, so maybe it's a bit early I don't know, but I've been researching how I want to have my baby. The more I read about water birth, the more I want to do it.
Has anyone experienced a water birth or know someone who has? What are some of the differences between water and non-water births?
I have 2 friends who did a water birth 3 times between them and couldn't say enough good things about it. I hope whenever we have a second child I might be able to do that as well Alli.
I found a birthing center near where we'll be living in California, and there's a web site for it and everything. It says there on the site that the midwife accepts Medi-Cal, so we'll see. I'm excited to check the place out.
Glad you found a birthing center Ali and hope that all goes well. Any news yet on the gender of the baby yet?
Oh oh! Yay!
I didn't end up going with the midwife. My sister recommended the doctor who delivered her last baby, so I went with him instead. He's really nice and definitely knows his stuff. *SMILE*
Anyway, I went for my ultrasound today, and ... we're having a girl! Mark and I are ecstatic. I can't wait to start shopping now! Hehehehe.
yay allie! go you! that's so exciting!
Yaaaaay for a girl! They are so seet! You will have so much fun shopping! Baby girl clothes like dresses are so so so cute! I love dressing Hannah up in different outfits! She looks so cute and pretty. Enjoy!
Lizzy
To post 6, if you ever want to hear about someone else's annoying and at times frightening pregnancy all you need to do is check for my bitchy, complainey, but hopefully humorous board postings or look me up via private quick notes.To post 3, I really love the name Alasdair. It struck me the first time I saw it in one of your other posts and now that I'm expecting I'm seriously considering it. I just wanted you to know what an awsum and wonderful name I think it is and that I am thinking of naming my own son, if I have a son, with that name. My morning sickness started about a month in and is still hanging around. I've gotten it more under control with a pair of C bands and some herbal remedies that really beat using Unasom as my OBGYN suggested. There was no way I was going to rely on a sleep med that can possibly, only possibly, help with nausia for the months of morning sickness I knew were ahead of me and would have made me constantly drousey. I'm now in my fifth month, God, my fifth month, I can't believe it and the morning sickness, named by a complete and utter moron I assure you, is still sticking around. It is not just in the morning, see, a moron decided to call this morning sickness. Although it can end after the third month it can last for all nine. I've also noticed that if I eat too little or go too long in between meals I suffer for it with very unfriendly nausia. It seams counterintuaitive to eat to prevent nausia, however, it works and I wish someone had told me that earlier on. I tell every expectant mother I know who is still not far along, so they won't have to wait and find this little secret out via trial and error like I did. I am planning to deliver naturally or with minimal drugs, but certainly no epedural, C section or complete anesthesia unless it is absolutely necessary to have a safe birth of a healthy baby. As for traumatic pain, women have been having babies since the dawn of time, with out massive amounts of drugs and we were designed for it. I'm not saying it will be pleasant, but it is natural and deciding to get all drugged up before you've even felt the pain or started the delivery is not neccessary. I will brest feed and pump so that I can have my fiance bottle feed the baby for bonding purposes and for when I'm passed out with exaustion. Brest milk is better than any formula you can ever buy, it is free and the cost of a pumping and milk storage system is still far less than that of the many more bottles, bottle brushes, formula, formula mixers, bottle warmers and bottle staralizers that you would buy and use if feeding formula. I am also going to go all organic with cloth diapers and small, organic, earth friendly disposable inserts for the cloth diapers. I believe that the father bonds with the baby while it is still inutero as the baby can hear the father's voice, recieve his energy through touch and Reiki and of course once the baby is born both the father and mother or on more even footing regarding bonding. Brest feeding might give the mother a slight advantage, but if the father bottle feeds expressed milk and shares in all of the caring duties equally with the mother this should be evened out. I can feel the baby kicking around in there now, but I regret that it isn't yet large enough or far enough forward for my fiance to feel it. I'm sure that once the baby is larger and is being carried more forward and closer to the surface that he will be able to feel our child wiggling and kicking. Actually, babies can recognize people's voices, scents and their faces well before three months. Much of the older research has been turned on it's head regarding how quickly infants really do develop. They develop object perminence, depth perception, individual differentiation and recognition of the self far earlier than was previously believed. I read many classic baby books that are great resources, but I also look for newer studies and books with publication dates within the last three to five years which I think is crutial to do. I have heard my baby's heartbeat a few times; once at the initial visit at six weeks to see if I was really pregnant, again at my visit a month later, once at the first trimester screening where they also took pictures and again two weeks after that at another monthly appointment. I had an altrasound of my gaul bladder, liver, spleen and kidnies because of some pain in my lower right side, but although the technician saw the baby she didn't have the technology there to let us hear the heartbeat or to print us any pictures. I have six or so pictures of my baby at about forteen weeks old. He or she is tiny and all curled up, but very active. They're waving in one picture and picking their nose in another one. That seems to be people's favorit one thus far. I am deffinitly going to show that one to this kid's boyfriends or girlfriends when they come to the house for the first date. lol I am very concerned with what one poster wrote. You should never get a guide dog, try to meet someone or have a child to give your life purpose. Guide dogs are companions and wonderful helpers, but you need to have purpose all on your own before getting one. You should have a strong sense of self and of your own purpose and should never expect your partner to give that to you. That is highly unhealthy and it is truly terrible to have a child to give your life purpose. You should not even consider it until you are secure enough in your self, your worth as an individual and your relationship with your partner to be completely sure that bringing a child into the world is the right thing for you. You can certainly have children after thirty-five, quite safely. My mother was thirty-eight and I know many mothers who were around that age. The real cut off, and even that is not set in stone is forty-five. If you haven't even yet had a real relationship at this point in your life you should not be planning children. This is not something to take lightly. As for having to pea every hour, I hear that. I found out early on that needing to pea every five seconds is not due to the baby pushing on your bladder, as it can happen very early on, but rather is a result of hormones. It hasn't gotten too bad yet and it isn't a problem during the day at night, but it interupts my sleep, of which I get too little as it is, to have to get up and go at least once a night. We will find out the sex of our baby on the eleventh of March if our child cooperates and does not cross their legs like a prood. I was a prood in the womb and they couldn't get a positive identification of my sex before birth. I think that having a C section that is not neccessary for the safety of the baby is not only unnecessary, but also dangerous, unnatural and should be discouraged. We already live in a time where doctors are ceasarian-happy and I fully intend to make it clear to my OB that I do not want one. I am considering a water birth, but I need to find out if my hospital offers them. I have a great OB and reasonable health care insurance, but I need to see if the process is a realistic option for me. Wow, that's a rediculously long post. I'll give a gold star to an
When I am ready to have children sometime in the future, I hope to give birth without medications and in water, if I can find a midwife. My mother had me naturally, and her mother before her, and so on, so I guess you could say it's ... well, I don't really know what to call it. Not a tradition, but something I feel I shouldn't break just because it hurts. I know I can't plan everything that happens, and if complications do arise where both myself and the unborn child, or either of us, is in danger, I'll be happy with medical intervention as long as one or both of us comes through it alive. Labor is definitely unpredictable.
That's a good openminded, balanced view. I really wish I could find a resource for a birthing center that does water births, but I've been researching all day and nothing has come up that fits my insurance and my desire to at least have a doctor available and right on hand. Perhaps, for me, or at least for this baby it is not to be.
Hi,
I'd definitely keep an open mind about different options, if I were you. This is your first baby, so I know you'll probably think the same way I did, when people told me all the things that could go wrong. Well, to make a long story short, my birth experience wasn't quite what I wanted it to be, but I had a healthy baby girl, so that's all that really mattered. She took to breastfeeding immediately, and I have to say that was mor eimportant to me than having her without drugs.
I was induced, even though, looking back, I think it was totally unnecessary, but what did I know? It was my first pregnancy, and doctors are supposed to know what they're talking about. Mine was pretty convincing (I supposedly had high blood pressure and some other symptoms that could have developed into preeclampsia), so I went along with it. Now I'm wishing I hadn't, and will definitely put my foot down when, and if, I have another child. Whoever said that the pain is ten times worse when you're induced was probably telling the truth. I ended up having an epidural, at the last possible minute, I was 8 centimeters dilated, so I got it right at the cut off point. I didn't like the feeling I got afterwards, though. I was all shaky and cold and almost toppled off my bed when I tried to sit up to hold my baby. Ugh. If given the chance again, I wouldn't get the epidural. I almost made it without, and I'm wishing I had just gone through with it. Ah well. Can't dwell over that now, but all that to say that you should keep an open mind about every possible outcome. Read up on everything you can find about different birthing options. Yes, even C-sections, because knowing about them will make you less scared if you find out you need one.
So, I don't need to tell you all this I'm sure. You sound like you've done a bunch of research already. I hope that, other than the morning sickness, you have an easy remainder of your pregnancy.
-- Allie
I'm signing up for a class offered by the hospital that I will be delivering at that focuses on all of the different options and that should help. Most of the books I've read have brief, cleaned-up, that is not at all detailed accounts of different methods. I've found a few books written by individuals as reference gbooks, but also as humor and interest books and the accounts of births in those books were actually much more helpful, but I haven't seen epedurals, water births, lamaz or midwife at home or birthing center births covered in those books. I'm hoping to find a book of that sort but that has some more varied birthing experiences.
Another thing you might try is asking women around you about their experiences...I've talked to my Mom and others about things ranging from birthing to breast feeding, and it's helped. *smile* At least it's helped me to develop an idea of what we're looking at. You'd be surprised how much women are willing to talk; or maybe you wouldn't if you've tried it. *smile* The other day my husband and I went into our bank, and I started chatting to the cashier. We happened to mention that we were wanting a baby, and she showed my husband a pic of her 4(2 adopted, 2 not). Then I asked her about feeding choice. I think if the bank hadn't been so crowded, and we hadn't been so rushed we would have talked more. But, it's always nice to hear the pros and cons from someone who's been there. For example, my Mom didn't breast feed, however, she's in full support for me doing it. She didn't because she had to work(an alcoholic dad who didn't work often), so, we've been able to talk about her reasons for not doing it, and her reasons for wishing she had. On the other hand the cashier could have nursed (2 of them) and chose not to do to not wanting to, and I got a little more of the whole pic (things to think about) this way.
I know what you mean. I've tried talking to many women, but very few want to discuss diapering options, brest or bottle feeding, and especially the details of different birthing methods they have tried. The best advice I have gotten has been from baby blogs, chatroom posts, published materials and employees of babies r us. Well, my mother of course is more than willing to talk and my close female friends are, but my mother only had one child, me, and none of my friends have had children yet. Grrr. It is very frustrating when people are not comfortable and open, although this should not surprise me as most people are not comfortable discussing religion, politics, sexuality or anything that could remotely put them in a politically uncorrect or self disclosing position.
Well, I'm certainly more than willing to talk about what I did and what worked for us, if you ever have questions about anything. That goes for anyone who's having their first baby. *SMILE*
-- Allie
Hmm, my experience has been the opposite. Maybe it's a small town, (Not sure wear you are), so, it very well may not be that. I know that people around here are willing to talk...Just give them any provocation. *smile*
It must be the difference in location. I am in the suburb of a moderately sized city and in the northeastern United States. I am guessing that you are from somewhere else regionally, perhaps the more libral, in some ways, west or the more comfortable south?
A small town in the southeast.
Ah, I see.
I'm a mom of a little boy. He's currently 5 months. His name is Nathaniel Louis James. Yes, he has 2 middle names. He was born on Nov. 13, 2007 via C-section at 11-17 Pm. Just thought I'd add my post to this topic. In case anyone decided they wanted to count the Zoner Babies on here.
Anyone ever heard of the bradley Method of birth? pretty interesting stuff.
no, what is that?
I had a baby boy about six and a half weeks ago during labor day weekend.
he was about two months early, so I had him at 31 weeks and three days justation. He was four pounds one ounce and 16 and one quarter inches long. His name is Noah James. The doctors weren't expecting him to really be as healthy as he is now. He didn't have any breathing issues at all or any heart murmers or anything of that sort. He means the world to me in every way, I wasn't expecting to have a baby so soon at age 21, but even though I was in labor for over 20 hours and in a lot of pain, I don't regret a single moment.
Because I'm not able to support him and be a single mom, my roommate ramona and her husband are adopting noah, and I know they're going to be great parents. I don't think I could have trusted anyone else because I know how much this means to them. for certain reasons, they aren't able to have children of their own, so I was happy to let them raise my child. I still help with anything he needs and of course because I live with them, I see my baby everyday, and i want to be in his life as much as possible.
hopefully one day I will have a child with someone who's willing to commit to it, I do want to raise my own baby some day. but for now, I know my roommate and her husband will be great parents and raise him the best they know how.
I also did have an epidoral, and I think every other drug there was while I was in labor, the pain was just oo much for me. and I was sick after the birth as well, but during the pregnany, I would throw up after everytime I ate, and I hated a lot of smells, they would just make me feel sick. I didn't crave a lot of wierd interesting foods or combinations. lol. although I did crave a lot of things I don't like or normally wouldn't eat. Other than that, the pregnancy wasn't too bad, I did sleep and eat a lot until I was about six months along, by then I wasn't really hungry very often, but I kept eating for the baby.
I am not exactly expecting, but I'm planning for children within the next year. Along with this, I'm writing a column of articles to help out blind parents. My writing will contain my knowledge that I've gained through personal experience with kids, as well as gleaned from the experiences of others. It is my joy to help inform parents to make life easier.
I look forward to my own children in the future to love, nurture, and call my very own precious bundles of joy.
My husband and I are expecting baby #2 in September. We are ecstatic. I just thought I'd add my new pregnancy news here as well, since it says Expectant Parents.
Congratulations, SunshineAndRain. I guess I should add here that B and I had a little brother for Eric in October. Baby Kevin is sweet and healthy and growing like a week! That's it for now, though :-).
Sorry to bring this board back up to the top, but the Bradley method teaches laboring women to stay completely relaxed during contractions, and I mean completely relaxed. apparently, if one has mastered it, she's supposed to look as if she is sleeping. can't remember every detail, but I read about it in a book. very interesting.
Hmm, that's what I did. I was told I looked like a cat giving birth. I've been meditating since age 12 so that helped, I remember thinking about an hour afterwards that I'd do it again in a heartbeat. The peace I've gotten from becoming a mom is immeasurable. Sounds weird I know but I feel like he's the puzzle piece I didn't know I was missing. I've been doing daily research on what it takes to raise a deaf child. I didn't know the deaf community was so divided and well, I don't have the right word for it. Apparently blind people aren't part of that world unless your def-blind. We've come to the conclusion we'll be using cued speech figerspelling and eventually asl when we're closer to some deaf culture. We're also considering a cochlear implant once he has the basics of language. Nothing can be done right now but our own learning. We've slowed things down round here so we can understand what his needs are and how best to teach him. Tiffany
The book is called Natural Childbirth The Bradly Way. The author is Susan McCutcheon
Are contractions really as painful as women said they are??? Ive had sum tel me they can be a bitch! Ive also heard the same for braxtoo hicks. I get those small not so noticeable contractions once in a while but i think nothin of it. I jus dont wanna hav to worry to much of these aches & pains.
I'm not sure what natural contractions feel like since my labor was induced, but they felt like the worse menstral cramps ever! Definitely learn some breathing exercises to get through the pain. The discomfort is well worth it.
this thread has three parts and I want to address all of them. So to hopefully lessen your confusion, I'm going to give tmy thoughts headers. Now ain't that special?
my family
i have two kids who were born 15 months apart. my son is 20 and can see. my daughter is 19 and can not. next march my husband and i will have been happily married for 25 years. oh yes, as contraceptive choices breastfeeding and iuds can fail. i had both and got pregnant with my daughter. my sister in law who was a lactation consultant and labor nurse said "you will have one feisty baby. she will ahve to be to survive in that hostile environment." She was right. oh yes, my son and his wife have an 8 month old grand baby. if i'd known it was that much fun to be grandma, i'd have done that first.
deaf community
tiff,
you will probably have to forge your own community. many, but not all, deaf people feel very uncomfortable around blind folks. it is like we personify their worst nightmare. if you want to talk with me more, please feel free to email me at hollyt@comcast.net. sounds like you are doing a great job.
labor
Contractions can hurt. It is pain with a purpose. Like climbing a mountain, concentrating on the end result helps us get there. it has been my experience that the more in control of my environment i was the less they hurt.Fear and uncertainty can magnify anything and that includes discomfort. Don't listen to women who maunder on about how miserable they were. Although they think they are bing helpful That kind of stuff increases the uncertainty and concern which causes us to have a self fulfilling prophesy. When people started going on about it I always said "what positive thing happened...." hope I'm making sense.